Going through a breakup
Updated
A breakup can hurt in a way that is hard to explain to anyone else. You might miss them all the time, replay every conversation, keep checking their profile, or feel like everyone at school knows.
None of that is overreacting. A relationship that mattered is a real loss, even if adults call it puppy love. The pain does ease, usually more slowly than you want and faster than it feels like it will.
The first few days
- Let yourself be sad. Crying, sleeping more or wanting to be alone for a bit is a normal part of it.
- Mute or unfollow them for now, if you can. Checking their posts keeps the hurt fresh, and protecting yourself is not rude.
- Hold off on the late-night message. Write it in your notes app instead, and read it again in the morning.
- Tell one person you trust what happened, so you are not carrying it on your own.
- Keep eating and sleeping as normally as you can, even if you don't feel like it.
The weeks after
- Fill the gaps they left: the time you used to text, the walk home, the weekend plans. Put something small and kind in those spots.
- Spend time with friends, even when you would rather stay in.
- Expect good days and bad days. A sudden wave of missing them weeks later does not mean you are back at the start.
- If you have to see them at school, plan for it: who you will sit with, and where you can go if it gets too much.
If you were the one who ended it
You can feel guilty, relieved and sad all at once. Ending something that wasn't right for you is allowed, even if it hurt them. Be honest and kind, and then give both of you some space.
When to get more help
Talk to an adult you trust, a doctor or a helpline if:
- Weeks have passed and you still can't eat, sleep or concentrate properly.
- You have pulled away from friends and the things you used to enjoy.
- Your ex is pressuring you, threatening to share private photos or messages, or making you feel afraid. Tell an adult you trust.
- You feel hopeless, or have thoughts of hurting yourself. Please reach out to a helpline or an adult you trust now.
You don't have to work it out alone
Relationships is one of the busiest topics on Avelune, and breakups come up all the time. You can post about it anonymously, where nobody from school will know it is you, and hear from people who have been through the same thing and come out the other side.
Avelune is peer support, not a clinical service. This page is general information, not medical advice.