Can't sleep because your mind won't stop at night
Updated
Lying awake while your thoughts go round and round is one of the most common things people describe. The house is quiet, there is nothing to distract you, and every worry from the day seems to arrive at once.
It does not mean something is wrong with you. Being tired makes worries feel bigger and more certain than they are in daylight, and a lot of what feels urgent at 2am looks smaller in the morning.
Things that can help tonight
- Get the thoughts out of your head. Write them down, even as a messy list, and tell yourself they will still be there to deal with tomorrow.
- Slow your breathing. Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, out for four, hold for four, and repeat for a few minutes.
- Try 5-4-3-2-1: name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell and one you can taste. It pulls your attention back to the room.
- If you have been awake a long time, get up for a bit. Sit somewhere dim and do something calm and boring, then go back to bed when you feel sleepy.
- Put the phone face down or across the room. Scrolling keeps your brain switched on, even when it feels like a break.
Things that help over the next few weeks
- Go to bed and get up at roughly the same times, weekends included.
- Give yourself half an hour before bed without screens, homework or difficult conversations.
- Get some daylight and move your body during the day, even a short walk.
- Cut down on caffeine and energy drinks after lunch.
- Keep a worry time earlier in the evening: ten minutes to write down what is on your mind, so it has a place to go that isn't your pillow.
Talking about it
Saying what is keeping you up, out loud or in writing, often takes some of the weight off it. A friend, a family member, a school counsellor or a doctor can all help, and so can people who have been through the same thing.
When to get more help
Talk to an adult you trust, a doctor or a helpline if:
- You have been sleeping badly most nights for more than a few weeks.
- Worry is getting in the way of school, eating, friends or things you used to enjoy.
- You feel panicky, hopeless or unable to cope during the day as well.
- You have thoughts of hurting yourself. Please reach out to a helpline or an adult you trust now, not later.
You don't have to work it out alone
On Avelune, a lot of people post late at night, and there is usually someone awake who gets it. You can post anonymously, read how others got through the same nights, or, once you have an account, sit in the Commons, the live chat rooms, for a while.
Avelune is peer support, not a clinical service. This page is general information, not medical advice.