Hating how you look, or comparing yourself to everyone online
Updated
It can start with one photo. You scroll past people who seem to have perfect skin, the right body or the right clothes, then look in the mirror and only see what is wrong. Before long it is hard to stop checking, comparing and criticising.
Most of what you see online is the best angle, the best light and often an edited version of a real person. Your body is also still changing, and it is meant to. Feeling bad about how you look is really common, and it is not the truth about you.
Changing what you see
- Mute or unfollow accounts that leave you feeling worse, even ones you like. You can always follow them again later.
- Follow people who look like real people, and accounts about things you love that have nothing to do with how anyone looks.
- Notice when you are scrolling to compare. Put the phone down for a minute and check in with how you feel.
- Remember that filters, angles and editing are everywhere, including in posts that say they are not edited.
Changing how you talk to yourself
- Ask whether you would say this to a friend. If not, try saying what you would tell them instead.
- Think about what your body lets you do, like laughing, hugging someone, dancing or playing, not only how it looks.
- Spend less time checking mirrors and photos. Checking often makes the worry louder, not quieter.
- Write down a few things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with how you look.
Talking about it
Body image worries can feel embarrassing to bring up, so people often keep them quiet. Telling a friend, a parent, a school counsellor or a doctor how much it is weighing on you is a real step, not vanity. Feeling okay in your own skin takes time and practice, and support makes it easier.
If it is changing how you eat
- ANAD (anad.org) runs free support groups and peer mentoring for anyone dealing with an eating disorder, whatever it looks like.
- A doctor or school nurse can help too, and telling someone early makes it easier to turn around.
- If you feel unsafe right now, in the US call or text 988, or find a line where you are at findahelpline.com.
When to get more help
Talk to an adult you trust, a doctor or a helpline if:
- Thoughts about how you look take up a lot of your day, or stop you going to school or seeing people.
- You avoid mirrors, photos or being seen, or spend hours checking them.
- Worry about your weight or shape is changing how you eat or exercise. A doctor can help, and it is worth telling someone early.
- You feel hopeless, or have thoughts of hurting yourself. Please reach out to a helpline or an adult you trust now.
You don't have to work it out alone
Body Image is one of the topics people post about most on Avelune. You can say what you are struggling with anonymously, and hear from people who are learning to be kinder to themselves too.
Avelune is peer support, not a clinical service. This page is general information, not medical advice.