Feeling lonely, even around people
Updated
Loneliness is not only about being alone. Plenty of people feel it in a busy classroom, at a family dinner or in a group chat that never stops buzzing. It is the feeling that nobody really knows you, or that you don't quite fit.
It is far more common than it looks from the outside. Several large surveys have found that young people report feeling lonely more often than older adults do, and most of them assume they are the only one.
Small things that can help
- Reach out to one person, not everyone. A short message to someone you used to be close to is enough to start.
- Look for people through something you already like: a club, a team, a game, an art class, a volunteering shift. Doing something side by side is easier than making conversation from nothing.
- Notice the moments that go a little better and do more of them, even if they are tiny.
- Be kind in how you talk to yourself. Loneliness tends to come with a voice that says people don't want you around, and that voice is usually wrong.
- Spend some time online in places that feel kind, and less in places that leave you comparing yourself.
If it feels like it has gone on for a long time
Long stretches of loneliness can wear you down, and they can sit alongside feeling low or anxious. That is a good reason to talk to someone about it, like a school counsellor, a doctor or an adult you trust. You do not need to have a crisis to deserve support.
When to get more help
Talk to an adult you trust, a doctor or a helpline if:
- You have felt lonely or empty most days for weeks.
- You have stopped doing things you used to enjoy, or stopped seeing people at all.
- You feel like you don't matter to anyone.
- You have thoughts of hurting yourself or not wanting to be here. Please reach out to a helpline or an adult you trust now.
You don't have to work it out alone
Avelune is an anonymous place to say how you feel and hear back from people who understand. Nobody needs your real name, and lots of people there joined because they felt alone too.
Avelune is peer support, not a clinical service. This page is general information, not medical advice.